When I’m not too busy sleeping in late, I do other things, like write a food column for a Cape Cod news site. For this weeks column, I originally intended to write a fluffy piece on homemade veggie burgers. I’ve been out of town for a few days. Picking up my boyfriends mothers dog to bring home to the Cape and dog-sit for a week. Here’s LucyWhich has led to most of my brain space being devoted to preventing our cat Ché (AKA El Gato, The General, there he is below, taking up the whole damn counter) from hunting and killing this mini chihuahua. We’ve been watching over Lucy like she’s the president and we’re secret service. So it has come down to the night before my column is due. I’ll just write about veggie burgers. I’ll make these lentil burgers that I made a while back, snag a photo, boom dee doom. But while writing my article, I get stuck on a political tangent about how so many organic food brands are actually owned by agribusiness giants and disgusting corporations. AKA: Boca owned by Kraft, ConAgra owning Fakin Bacon, etc.
So what was originally a pretty basic article has become a diatribe against these corporations, calling them out by name, citing cases in which they fought against labelling GM-foods. And now I’m wondering if my editor is even going to publish this. I’m sure I could drop a note to her saying that if necessary, all politics can be cut from the piece, and the readers will be left with a cute lil’ article on makin bean burgers. But that’s why I’m drinking limeade and vodka now, because I’d hate to take a pussy compromise on things that matter. Oh, and because it’s Wednesday.
Here are my infamous lentil burgers. Even my boyfriend likes them and he ate about 8 Tyson’s chicken patties today.
Adapted from Hot Damn & Hell Yeah
½ cup dry lentils
1 bay leaf
1 onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 tb. olive oil
1 ½ tbs. peanut butter
2 ½ tbs. ketchup
½ tsp. thyme
1/8 tsp. fresh ground black pepper
½ tsp. parsley
dash of salt
dash of hot sauce (optional)
1 cup dry bread crumbs
Cover the lentils with water in a saucepan and simmer with the bay leaf for about 30 minutes. Once cooked, drain the lentils and throw out the bay leaf.
Heat the olive oil in a saucepan or skillet over medium heat. Saute the onion and garlic for a couple of minutes, then place all of your ingredients in a food processor and blend for about 15 seconds.
Pour contents in a large bowl and stir in the bread crumbs. Form into patties and cook in a lightly oiled skillet over medium heat until the center is firm and the patties are slightly browned. Serve with all your favorite burger fixins!